Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood words in the human language. Forgiveness has been twisted and misunderstood as to how this incredible force really functions in our lives. To forgive another does not mean we must rejoin with ex-lovers, free criminals from prisons, return to old jobs, or anything else absurd. We are taught to believe that if we are to forgive someone who hurt us, it must manifest in some form of physical behavior. It is too often viewed as a weakness.
Forgiveness is a function of your Soul's ability to love, not your ego. When you seek to understand the negative impact of someone and release the pain to find inner peace, you have found the real purpose of forgiveness. If you choose to forgive, this does not mean that you acknowledge a person's cruel behavior as acceptable. Above all, forgiving another does not mean that we assume a superior (holier than thou) attitude to pardon the sins others.
The power of genuine forgiveness. The meaning of the verb forgive, translates into "to let go," which is an act of mercy. Forgiveness is the release of negative feelings triggered in you by another. It is your responsibility to let go of the hurt that another person has caused you. The person can apologize for their negative impact, but you still have to let go of the hurt feelings for forgiveness to become a healing experience. Most people find it challenging to do this because they've never been taught how to forgive.
What makes forgiveness difficult? The greatest obstacle to live a fulfilling life is the immature ego, which holds onto the pain of the past and becomes our greatest source of resistance. The ego functions negatively and often block our happiness and peace of mind. Our ego carries within us grudges, bitterness, and resentment that later in life manifests as destructive stress and poor health conditions.
Ultimately, we each have a choice to support our ego or our Soul. The ego desires righteousness and revenge, and the Soul seeks love and inner peace. This choice is always available for us to consider. The ego erroneously thinks that holding a grudge hurts the other person when in truth, it mostly hurts yourself and your Soul's evolution.
Forgiveness, like all other Soul qualities (peace, love, gratitude, dignity, oneness, and passion), brings us joy and freedom. Forgiveness is our willingness to perceive everyone, including yourself, as either expressing love or feeling a need to be loved.
Genuine forgiveness is our own willingness and ability to let go of our ego. Ask yourself, "Am I willing and able to let go of the pain from my past? If not, then why not?" If we can not seem to let go, then we don't understand the magic that forgiveness provides. It links us to our Soul's power. Holding on to pain weakens us, and produces misery.
The purpose of letting go is to prevent the mind from becoming a battlefield. Painful feelings evaporate whenever they are looked at through the eyes of your Soul, with love and honesty. This leads to resolving our past responsibly. Often this process is gradual. The desire to experience peace of mind is the greatest motivation to forgive others.
If you feel that forgiving adds one more grudging obligation to your life, you are functioning from your immature ego. Understanding that forgiveness is the doorway to your happiness is the choice to function from your Soul.
When you are verbally attacked by another, you must first deal with the pain that you are feeling. Too many try to forgive too soon without releasing their constricting feelings of anger and hurt. That mistake only represses the rage, and it always putrefies into resentment in the future.
A healthy habit to cultivate is to pause whenever you are having difficulty releasing an upset from your mind. Look directly and, in detail, at the contents of your thoughts. What feelings do these thoughts generate? Dissect your emotions. Step back for a moment and gain a new perspective. Write them down in a journal to gain clarity. And give yourself time to forgive, it doesn't have to be immediate, but don't distract yourself to avoid this miracle of life.
A person who claims they never feel hurt by others is not more spiritually evolved, but more likely, they're emotionally repressed. To be spiritual, doesn't mean you have to like or agree with everyone's ego that crosses your path. Loving somebody and releasing their negative impact upon you are two completely different issues.
During an act of forgiveness, no matter how big or small, a part of you dies, and a part of you is reborn. A portion of your fear, self-punishment, ego games, and hurt dies, and a part of your spiritual grace, dignity, freedom, joy, and love is reborn. Forgiveness renews your heart and mind and fosters a synergy of coherence.
1. Set Intention: Write this down in a notebook. Write at the top of the page, the person you wish to forgive. I desire to forgive and free myself from the painful experience with (Person Name). I don't like how this makes me feel, and I don't want to carry this into my future. I've decided to make peace with myself and (Person Name). I ask my Soul for help in letting go of the scars of the past.
2. Express Yourself: Write a letter to the person you are desiring to forgive.
Write Dear (First Name), then write down all your feelings about the situation that you are forgiving. Express to them all of the anger, hurt, frustration, or any feelings you have due to this experience. Take your time and feel your words as you write them down. When finished, reread the letter and feel the emotions. As again for help from you, Soul to release these feelings. Then when it feels complete, tear up the paper, burn it (safely) and mentally repeat to yourself. I've let go of the pain from my experience with (Name).
3. Mirror Magic: Look into your eyes in a mirror, take a few deep breaths and relax. Then speak these words, 'I forgive you for allowing myself to be hurt/disappointed by my experience with (Person's name). I am proud of you (Your Name) for following your heart and letting go of the past. I'm always on your side!'
4. Imaginal Realm Release: Next, close your eyes and visualize the person you wish to forgive standing before you. Express your thoughts and feelings to the person you are forgiving. Let them know how much they hurt you and how upset you've been. If you feel a lot of hostility about the situation and are angry and you secretively want to hurt them, do it in your mind (IMAGINATIVELY). Being honest with yourself and expressing your feelings imaginatively will quickly clear your heart and Soul. Don't judge yourself.
Remember, energy follows intention. Your intention is to forgive, heal, and let go of all of the feelings around this person. That is where the energy will flow. You will not be sending negative energy to this person unless that is your intention.
5. Letting Go: Eyes still closed, start by sensing a pure white light coming down from above, from your Soul. It is a warm, healing light that surrounds you in a safe environment. Imagine the person you wish to forgive standing inside the light. Mentally repeat, "I forgive you for hurting/disappointing me in this way." Mentally reaffirm what you are forgiving them for. Let them speak to you in your imagination if they want to apologize. Then release them into the light and let go.
When you understand that forgiveness is a choice that aligns you to your Soul, you can generate the healing force and begin mastering your mind. The magic of forgiveness happens when you take full responsibility for every area of your life; after all, you are the common denominator. Taking 100% responsibility for all of your relationships is the first step. Stop blaming and feeling sorry for yourself; it opens you to the magic of forgiveness.
When you end the addictive patterns of trying to find love, happiness, security, and peace from outside circumstances and begin to generate it from within yourself, you are set free from the pain of your past. As you let go of the judgments you hold of others and remember that the purpose of life is for-giving love, the magic of forgiveness has worked its spell.