One thing is constant in life… change is going to happen!
Everyone desires change and it is inevitable. So why is it so difficult for so many people? Changing our lives can lead us toward growth and fulfillment if we learn how to cooperate with this unyielding force. When we partner with change we take a quantum leap in our lives. You’ll discover why you resist change and the four secrets to move beyond resistance to create positive changes in your life.
When we reach for change, a part of us naturally resists. If the resistance is stronger than our reach, we experience stagnation, struggle, frustration, and even procrastination. Likewise, if we accept that change has its own resistance we can build an alliance and experience greater freedom and ease.
1st Secret: Seek growth rather than change.
Growth is the process of reaching for something new while releasing the old. Growth always leads to positive change in our lives. Whether it is a new relationship, a new belief or experience, growth leads to genuine change as it shifts from the old to embrace the new. Growth is the foundation for evolution and challenges you to become more. Growth always produces change, but change doesn’t necessarily produce growth. Growth is about evolving and becoming more of who you are destined to be.
Tip: Are the changes you desire about becoming more? Review the changes you desire, to determine if they are a growth choice (becoming more) or a fear choice (becoming less).
2nd Secret: Genuine Change involves your emotions.
Some people only seek to change the physical forms of their life without changing their emotions. Erroneously they think this new form will make them feel a particular way. When change is only physical (new haircut, relationship, house, etc.) personal growth is limited and change becomes temporary at best. However, when you change on the emotional level, growth happens and the forms change automatically and without the struggle.
Permanent change begins within our emotional nature.
Our emotions provide the foundation, energy, and motivation, needed before genuine change can occur. Our ego is concerned with changing on the outside and our soul desires to change the feelings on the inside. When you begin inside out, change becomes effortless.
An example: A client of mine was “stuck” in a relationship.
The feeling of powerlessness was a pattern that haunted him for years. He attempted to fix this problem by changing the person he was dating frequently. He never changed the feelings that attracted those relationships. Once he worked with changing the feelings, he quickly attracted a new relationship with someone who reflected his feelings of being powerful. Nothing changes until you do.
3rd Secret: All Change Produces Chaos! This is the most powerful of all the secrets. Chaos and change always function together. It isn't change you resist, it's your egos attempt to avoid chaos. When a genuine change occurs, it’s always accompanied by chaos. Chaos can be either light or dark and is vital energy to the process of change and we naturally resist it.
Everyone yearns for change and resists its chaos simultaneously. We have been taught to believe that chaos is bad and to be avoided, yet even the most incredible changes we desire: i.e., getting a new job or starting a new romance will also produce chaos!
The tug-of-war between our ego and our Soul creates resistance. Life is not to be controlled, especially by our ego. It is to be mastered by our soul. We can influence the direction of change when we let go of control, embrace chaos and learn to dance with an open heart to the unpredictability of change.
How to influence the outcome of change.
For instance, when you mix fear with chaos, change becomes negative, producing anxiety and frustration. On the other hand, when you mix hope and trust into chaos then the energy can lift to excitement and joy. Anxiety, frustration, excitement, and joy are all chaotic emotions and influence the direction in which change happens.
Chaos is neutral. This truth can help you relax and stop worrying that you might be doing something wrong. It’s natural to feel chaotic when you experience a change in your life. If you don’t feel chaos then you aren’t genuinely changing. Big changes produce lots of chaos, small changes produce a little. So let chaos be a part of your process of change. Trust yourself know that it won’t last forever and is living proof you are changing.
4th Secret: Focus on the positive by visualizing your future self.
How often do you think about what you don't want to happen versus what you do want? This only attracts more of what you don’t want. To harness the power of change, while in the throws of chaos focus instead on the future you’d like to create. Visualize your future self.
Focus your mind with guided imagery meditation.
In meditation, you can visualize your future self. Find a relaxed position, close your eyes. Breathe deeply to relax your body and focus your mind. Imagine your future-self having all the changes you desire. Think about how you would feel once you’ve created these positive changes in your life. Your subconscious mind will begin to help you attract and create the changes you desire.
Don’t wait to see what the future holds create what you want in your mind. The more emotion you add to your vision, the quicker those changes will occur. Repeat this on a regular basis at least once a week. You will begin changing the course of your future by using the power of your imagination. As you implement these four secrets, you will end your resistance and harness the power of change to become the master of your destiny.